- You're tired of just surviving, and you're ready to thrive!
- You fear that you might make a mistake, as this will effect your family.
- You need support, guidance, and clarity.
Sister you're not alone, I know what it’s like.
As a woman stepping INTO my purposefully designed life I have gone through many valley’s and climbed my own share of mountains. I stand before you a woman who has been made new, who knows who she is and is living the life I’ve been called to and dreamed of.
I’m the daughter to the one true King! I’m a wife to my amazing husband Todd, and a mother to my beautiful baby girl Aubrey, my teenage son Bo, and my stepson Bailey who’s now a father of his own! AND we just announced we are expecting again, due Sept 2017!
The past 5 years have been the most difficult of my life! I’ve always been a strong, confident woman who pushes through and makes things happen! But what I didn’t know is that God was about to give me more than I could handle!
To back up a little bit, I was a single mom for over 10 years. I put myself through school while working full time, and sometimes 2 jobs, all while being the Momma my son needed. Sleep?? What was that? Our days would start early, and my nights would end late! Everything I did and every decision I made was for him! During this time I grew close to the Lord. I knew I couldn’t do it by myself, and I wanted to raise my son up knowing God.
My Professional career led me from being in management for over 7 years to the financial industry doing lending. This is where Cindypreneur comes in! It was my goal to have a career that allowed me scheduling flexibility while still being a mom FIRST! Attending his games and seeing him grow was priceless! As the market turned so did my nice commission income, so I found myself in marketing, and ultimately landed in insurance, working for my husband!
Newly married, I helped him get through the most difficult time of his life, losing his oldest son to cancer. I soon became his outlet for anger. In addition, we were trying to blend our family, and my son fell victim to bullying. Life was supposed to be getting better not falling apart and I had to be strong for everyone. It felt like battle, a battle trying to destroy our family and my sanity. I always thought as long as we had each other we could get through anything.
My faith in God is the only thing that got me through.
Then the next BIG upset. My son wanted to go live with his dad. He had been my constant for 14 years. It was always him and I. When things were tough in my marriage I would find my joy in my him. He had fun little brothers that he wanted to be around over there, and he ALWAYS longed for a relationship with his father. To say my heart was broken was an understatement.
My identity was stripped. I went from being a momma everyday, living my life around his needs, to being the every other weekend parent. Not what I wanted. God was sure taking me on a journey, a rollercoaster. My son was excited to start his new life over there, and mine felt like a train wreck. I was just so heartbroken, how could I not see my son every day? How could I not help him get out the door for school in the morning, and wave to him while the bus passed the house? How could I not help him with his homework, or take him to sports? How could I not look down the hallway from my room and see him being silly running out of the bathroom after the shower? How could I not tuck him into bed at night, pray with him, and have our deep talks? I couldn’t!
I ended up leaving for several days to go stay with a friend, someone that was always there for me during my valleys. She was always grounded in God’s word. If there was one thing I knew, it was that God had a plan.
Like the good friend, she let me talk, yell, and cry to get it all out. She listened and cried with me. She then opened up her bible and began to remind me of God’s love, and healing. She prayed with me and over me. (I will be that friend for you) She knew what I was going through because she too went through it. God used her to help me understand that it wasn’t about me. God has a plan for my son as well. Just like Abraham had to lay his Isaac down, God was calling me to do the same. Our children are God’s children 1st. My brokenness quickly turned into understanding, but there was still a void in my heart. My identity.
I was still very angry at my husband for I was blaming him for everything. God wasn’t finished with me just yet. My friend and her husband continued to speak God’s truths to me. God opened my eye’s to see that I was putting my son before my husband. I would justify that by saying my son needed me more than my husband. God showed me so many things that I had done and disrespected him over and over again. I could write a book just about these few days I had away and all that God revealed.
Not even a week after this the life group we were in started a new study called Grace Walk. IDENTITY. God wasn’t done with me yet. This study blew my mind! One of my biggest take aways was that after we are saved we are no longer sinners we are SAINTS. We are made NEW by the blood of Jesus. Yes, we still sin because still have the sinful nature within us, but that is no longer our identity. We aren’t labeled by our sins as we are forgiven. God gives us a choice to choose to live a life that reflects our love for Him. He wants us to choose Him. So to know that I’m no longer a sinner that needs forgiveness, I’m a Saint. New identity! My identity is no longer that of just mother or wife, it is I’m the daughter of the one true King, I’m a Saint. Then I’m a wife, mother, sister, friend.
As the years passed the Lord blessed us with a pregnancy! We are having a baby! We were so excited! Only 10 weeks in all was going good only to find out that we lost him. What happened, what did I do, why would God do this to us after all that we’ve been through already?!
Another year passed and the great news came again! Nervous, but excited that God has blessed us once again! This time it was 12 weeks in we lost yet another child. We always come to the question WHY?!!!!! The doctors assured me that I didn’t do anything wrong, but that doesn’t do anything for the gaping hole in my heart. Thank God for good friends because I was broken, I was done and I just wanted to be done with everything. I know I'm not alone in this walk as many of you reading this know the exact feelings I’m talking about.
This was a time that normally brings couples together, but not my marriage. It did the opposite. I never felt so alone in my life. My husband checked out on me. Didn’t he see that I needed him? What God later revealed to me was yet again I needed to be the strong one. My husband was broken as well. It brought up all the feelings of losing his son Bret, he was angry with God too, letting yet another one of his children go be with Jesus.
At that point in my life I needed a change, I quit working with my husband, and went on a journey to find myself again. Who was I? What was my purpose? I knew God had a plan for me, but didn’t know what. I was a broken woman. I felt unworthy, unloved, invisible, unappreciated and lost. God once again showed up! He brought amazing people into my life that spoke truth, affirmations, encouragement and love into my life. He continued to reveal to me my strengths! I had a new energy about life! He would continue to reveal things to be in a BIG way, yet my own awareness rejected them. I wasn’t capable of that!
God continued to work in me, as I grew closer to Him.
I realized I just needed to let go and let God. I just needed to be Still and let Him make my path straight! God’s will, not mine. And once I released my will things started to change. I became pregnant again. That I wasn’t ready for. And really I didn’t want to go through all that again, so in the beginning it wasn’t good news. As time passed, I began to attach myself, enjoy the all day sickness because that meant things were ok. As week 10 passed, I still was nervous, then 12 weeks came and I thought ok, this might be really happening, but still not holding my breathe. Then my appointment came to see this cutie, at 21 weeks and my heart immediately feel in love! This was my baby! God’s baby! Our baby! God is going to bless us! Jan 23, 2016 Aubrey came into our lives! What joy she brought both of us! I embraced the life that God had given me, and took joy in every moment including the waking up every other hour.
>>>>>Then God opened a door in my life but I had to walk in complete faith and have total trust in him. It brought amazing women into my life that opened my mind. He called me to invest in myself, break free from the things that were holding me back, and shed my limiting beliefs. From the start, I could see his hands in every part of it. I was deep in the trenches of my life, learning new mindsets that freed me from my past, and allowed me to step into the woman I am today.
Now I’m ready to do the same for you. …….